Lena Dunham ‘surprised by strength’ after hysterectomy op
Lena Dunham has admitted her "strength surprised her" on the one-year anniversary of her hysterectomy.
The ‘Girls’ creator underwent the life-changing procedure after suffering from severe endometriosis – where the tissue that lines the womb is found outside the reproductive organ – and has taken to Instagram to share her journey from being "full of anxiety and grief" and dosed up on meds to her current state of feeling "happy", "joyous" and "free".
Alongside a selfie taken on the day she had the operation and one from Thursday night (15.11.8), she wrote: "What a difference a year makes … First photo was indeed a year ago today, on the first night after my hysterectomy for severe endometriosis.
I was smiling but my eyes say it all: full of anxiety and grief that I couldn’t locate through the layers of pain meds and benzos. Severe undiagnosed PTSD, feelings that my worth and purpose were being taken from me, angry and self-pitying with no sense of how I’d emerge…. (sic)"
Thanking her friend for dying her hair blue after it fell out, she continued: "Plus, my hair had fallen out in odd clumps and I’d taken it upon myself to dye what remained electric blue cuz if you’re gonna spiral why not SPIRAL (shout out to @joanaavillez for being a true friend and bringing Manic Panic when I demanded it at night in the hospital, though. I love you Jo.) (sic)"
And on how proud she is of herself for tackling each day as it came and showing her "vulnerability", she concluded: "The second pic was taken tonight, happy joyous and (substance) free. The last year hasn’t been all roses and Kenny G songs, but it’s been proof enough for me in the presence of the divine. The divine- it’s been there in the kindness of my family, friends, chronically ill folks online. It’s also been there in the moments where I cried myself to sleep, shocked by the sounds coming out of me. It’s in the light slanting on my comforter, the resilience of my best friend’s baby clonking her head then giggling, the new hairs sprouting at my temples. Mostly I’ve found it in my own strength, because who the f**k knew. And I don’t mean strength as in powering through. I mean strength as in vulnerability, feeling it all, taking it as it comes and dancing even with a hospital grade pad in my underwear.
I surprised myself. I bet you can surprise yourself too. (sic)"
The post comes after Lena revealed she has been sober for six months after "misusing" anti-anxiety medication for three years.
The 32-year-old actress began taking Klonopin when she was unable to participate in daily activities and her anxiety was hindering her work, and she found the drug made her feel "like the person [she] was supposed to be".
She said: "If I look back, there were a solid three years where I was, to put it lightly, misusing benzos, even though it was all quote unquote doctor prescribed…
"I’ve been sober for six months. My particular passion was Klonopin.
"I was having crazy anxiety and having to show up for things that I didn’t feel equipped to show up for.
"But I know I need to do it, and when I take a Klonopin, I can do it.
"[It made me] feel like the person I was supposed to be.
"It was like suddenly I felt like the part of me that I knew was there was freed up to do her thing."